Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Panicdemic


Somehow Barack's Administration will be able to pin the blame for H1N1 on George W. Bush.

The media is all over it. The world's ending. Just like the Credit Crunch caused people to look up "Great Depression" on Wikipedia, people are now doing diligent semi-research on the 1918 Influenza Pandemic.

Fun with words: the difference between pandemic and epidemic? Pandemics are bigger, and typically worldwide.

Not-so-fun-fact: Human Influenza kills 30,000 people a year. Just in the US.

Side-argument: Doesn't the fact that the flu virus evolves sort of prove evolution, or at least help support it? I mean, if a flu virus can evolve, why can't you or I? If a flu virus can change, and you can change, EVERYBODY CAN CHANGE!



Remember when you got SARS and had to miss school for a week? Oh wait, you never got SARS did you? Neither did I.



Remember when 100 of your pen pals in China got SARS and only 4 of them died?

Remember the avian flu? How much did it suck when you died from that? You didn't? Oh, neither did I! Gosh, we have so much in common, what's your sign?

Remember in 1918 when the world was engulfed in a cataclysmic war, sanitation throughout Europe was crap, and 3/4 of the world were underdeveloped colonies? Kind of different from 2009, isn't it?

I'm not saying people shouldn't be worried about Swine Flu. It is dangerous to humans because it isn't a human flu. Our bodies aren't used to it. So wash your hands, don't makeout with the poles on subway cars, and don't fuck pigs. Oh, and invest in companies that make surgical masks.



But remember, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is also a disease.



But this end of the world panic is doing more damage than Swine Flu might. The global economy is already contracting, FEAR of a pandemic will make it even worse. No tourism, no travel, no production, et cetera.



Media outlets asking "Is This like 1918?" or "Is This the Next Pandemic" aren't helping things. Yes, there's an extremely virulent form of influenza spreading around the world. And it's coming to your neighborhood. So be smart, not scared. Wash your hands before eating. Wash your hands after handling money or touching an ATM.

But also remember what happened to the Native Americans. They weren't exposed to any diseases for centuries, until they were all-but exterminated by the common cold.

The CDC and the governments of the world are as prepared for this as they can be. The US has the best healthcare in the universe (you get what you pay for). It's very late in the cold & flu season.

And remember, if you have to ask "Is this a pandemic?" Then guess what...

IT'S NO FUCKING PANDEMIC!

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